I missed study group last week at which a topical called “How can I love my enemies?” was initiated, and it’s going to be continued in our group next week. So I’ve been thinking this might be an interesting topic for this forum. All comments welcome.
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How can I love my enemies?
60 posts · 9 participants · started Dec 5, 2015, 4:18 PM
Good topic, Mara.
We humans want to fight back or start a fight if feelings are hurt. We have a huge obstacle to clear: mastery of self. Jesus modeled self mastery for us, but we are slow to see the long term value of patience, love, mercy, tolerance, long suffering in humility and humbleness when we see failure of fair recognition and absence of praise when deserved. We want to compete and get more than others instead of working for fair and equitable relations.
Looking into our “soul mirror” we see our neuroses and weaknesses, but we sometimes are not honest. Honest assessment based on realities are needed for one to identify what is needed for progress toward a perceived divine goal. Hiding oneself from truth obscures what is needed to increase love and move more toward the Father. It is delay. This identifies the hurdles to clear.
Now the how: Jesus showed us he was a realist and also developed over his growing years the long view in faith to sustain him. I see the answer to your question being in Jesus’ superb divine ideal model of human reaction to challenges. There are personal relations at all cosmos levels, between all beings, between persons who know God. Those who finally reject relating to God will become as though they never existed, but the answer to your question must come from Jesus and all those followers who say ‘yes’, who desire divine answers—from people who want to know God, from those at all Universe levels who know Him.
We are told we should try to understand our enemies and to try tolerant listening, understanding sympathy and these will ripen a person to like persons and when that happens there is potential for love. Jesus didn’t hate his enemies. He disapproved of their behavior. Loving our enemies means we should try to model after Jesus who created humanity.
If we can lovingly see he created a great plan for humans, that Urantian humanity is HIS project, and if we love him and the Father, we could love our enemies easier. If we sincerely try, that is. We should love our enemies because of their potential to accept growth, because each human being is valued by him and the Father, regardless of errors. All the Sons of God know these truths and are working to help the Father in ministry to us mortals yet in the weakness of the flesh.
This sounds like a “Sunday school” answer, but it is what I believe and it is the hard, arduous growth challenge for myself.
What do others say?
- Mark Kurtz wrote: …Looking into our “soul mirror” we see…Hi Mark, we are equipped to look both ways, inward and outward.We can love our “enemies” by using our own “window of the soul” to greatest effect by appealing to the Adjuster who dwells within the mind of our “enemy” (stranger who is a brother/sister not understood yet).
If we can lovingly see he created a great plan for humans, that Urantian humanity is HIS project, and if we love him and the Father, we could love our enemies easier. If we sincerely try, that is. We should love our enemies because of their potential to accept growth, because each human being is valued by him and the Father, regardless of errors. All the Sons of God know these truths and are working to help the Father in ministry to us mortals yet in the weakness of the flesh.
I like how you put this Mark. Urantia is HIS project and anyone can join the peace train while in the weakness of the flesh and in spite of our many shortcomings.
CAT STEVENS LYRICS
“Peace Train”
Now I’ve been happy lately, thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begunOh I’ve been smiling lately, dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be, some day it’s going to comeCause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home againNow I’ve been smiling lately, thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begunOh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on now peace train
Yes, peace train holy rollerEveryone jump upon the peace train
Come on now peace trainGet your bags together, go bring your good friends too
Cause it’s getting nearer, it soon will be with youNow come and join the living, it’s not so far from you
And it’s getting nearer, soon it will all be trueNow I’ve been crying lately, thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating, why can’t we live in blissCause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again- Mara wrote: …anyone can join the peace train…Yes Mara, so true. Peacemakers are the sons of God with good reason, for peacemaking is the cure of distrust and suspicion.Peace train coming and it’s picking up passengers coast to coast…………you don’t need no ticket to get on board…….all you need is faith and………thank the Lord.
“Happy are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.” Jesus’ hearers were longing for military deliverance, not for peacemakers. But Jesus’ peace is not of the pacific and negative kind. In the face of trials and persecutions he said, “My peace I leave with you.” “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” This is the peace that prevents ruinous conflicts. Personal peace integrates personality. Social peace prevents fear, greed, and anger. Political peace prevents race antagonisms, national suspicions, and war. Peacemaking is the cure of distrust and suspicion. [Paper140:5.18, page 1575:3]
Peacemaking
- prevents ruinous conflicts
- integrates personality
- prevents fear
- prevents greed
- prevents anger
- prevents race antagonisms
- prevents national suspicions
- prevents war
- cures distrust
- cures suspicion.
Friendship is a shared quality of peacemakers. By nature, inclusive of others.
What is an enemy? There are personal and social enemies. But how are they defined and identified? Society may have enemies in collective form that require a collective response. But individuals? I have those who despise, hate, and abuse me….not often but it does happen. Does that make them an enemy? No. Not until I return enmity it doesn’t. It’s my response to such personal abuse that determines the internal and external effects of such thinking. I have no resulting effect by the thoughts and choices of those who declare themselves as enemy until I embrace the same thinking and motives for myself….my choice.
I choose to NOT have enemies….and I’m not convinced of “all” those enemies of the state which the state claims. Jesus was the enemy of none….and those who proclaimed they were his enemies for themselves were known by Jesus to be misguided, immature, unwise, fearful, and suffering by that regard. The easiest way to begin then to love our enemies, or those who claim to be our enemies, is to refuse to participate in fear and hate I think, which precludes and prevents us from thinking in such terms as “enemy”. Then the door is opened to imagine a mile or a life in their shoes and seek to understand what caused such disruption for that mind. We are taught that if we become successful at this methodology, we will gain greater wisdom and tolerance and patience and, eventually, love for others…..all others.
"Live loyally today—grow—and tomorrow will attend to itself. The quickest way for a tadpole to become a frog is to live loyally each moment as a tadpole."
What is an enemy? There are personal and social enemies. But how are they defined and identified? Society may have enemies in collective form that require a collective response. But individuals?
It’s interesting you ask,”What….?” When I learned about this study topic, my immediate thought was “Who…?” not “what”. Because when the context is love, the subject is narrowed down to a person or perhaps a group of persons. I ask myself, ” Who are my enemies?” Well, I have been an activist and I have riled up some people by providing unpleasant (whistle-blower) information to those people, while other people were gladdened that I stood up and blew the whistle. But maybe there is an underlying fear element on the part those who are against me. Maybe they are not actually against me, but somewhat afraid of me, since I am known to be somewhat outspoken in my community. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a political activist, nor an economic activist, nor a social activist. I served on the board of directors for eight years here and have experience in that realm. Anyhow, the point I make is that other people do not agree with nor do they wish to consider information that differs with their preconceived conclusions. It’s not the person/s that’s the enemy, but rather the ideas and opinions and conclusions which make it appear they are enemies.
I find the “who” and “what” issue interesting. One may oppose or feel oppositional toward any number of goals, strategies, and/or tactics that others embrace (“what”)…..or one may fear those….or one may come to oppose the person(s) involved (who)….or come to fear and/or hate such persons. I wonder how we come to believe we have enemies? For some, it is unfortunately true that all who disagree with them become, somehow, “enemy” simply by disagreement. Then I wonder what we are taught should be our response to those who may declare us as enemy….and I am pretty sure we are taught that we are not to self create enemies. We choose not only who is our enemy but whether there even is such a thing/person.
Let us say that sin is enemy. But not the sinner, eh? And are we to oppose sin or sinners? If so, how so? Can we oppose sin with sin? No we cannot….I mean we may try but we will not succeed. We may provide contrast to sin and evil and we may apply love with wisdom to the results of sin/evil. But we cannot stop the free will choice others make nor are we to even try the abrogation of free will except perhaps to protect/serve its victims I think.
I am opposed to much….but, over time, it becomes less and less a motivator for choice. There is too much to support and to be FOR that it seems a waste of time and energy to be AGAINST or opposed to so much. Is the activist opposed against something or are they truly in support of that which they view as positive?…..and find themselves with opposition….and enemies? I’ve never opposed anyone based on “who” they were/are. It’s not personal. Unless I make it so that is. UB students should be able to find this line of difference and learn to separate the who from the what and opposition as distinguished from support.
I find the UB teaches us to work FOR rather than AGAINST and to know the difference between an idea or act and the person whose idea or act we disagree with. Perhaps the first step to “love my enemies” is to cease having any enemies. Jesus did not consider those who hung him on the cross as enemies did he? Most interesting issue….thanks Mara.
"Live loyally today—grow—and tomorrow will attend to itself. The quickest way for a tadpole to become a frog is to live loyally each moment as a tadpole."
From 56:10.20
“The advanced mortals on a world in the seventh stage of light and life have learned that love is the greatest thing in the universe — and they know that God is love.”- Bradly wrote: What is an enemy?Hi Bradly good to see you are striving to be on good terms with all people. Hope I pass the audition, my parents were refugees you know.It looks like presidential aspirant, Donald Trump, is having difficulties remembering where he put the welcome mat.To my thinking the enemy is anything that causes separation of the love connection. Two enemies of the soul which immediately spring to mind are fear and pride.Fear is a mindless state of emotional assault upon personality unity so disorienting that threat is perceived where none exists.Pride in its self-seeking, manifests as a blindness to the lives of others, therefore lacks capacity of fellow feeling to understand others because the self has become disproportionately aggrandized.Peacemaking is the means whereby the personality is integrated to such a degree as to prevent fear taking hold and by its outgoing inclusiveness of others, is loving fruit of the spirit—an act of selfless love.Peacemakers are sons of God.
Q. How can I love my enemies?
A. Be a peacemaker. Greetings Friends….good stuff Mark and Vern….thanks. I would agree my biggest enemy is….me….or actually, the mind poisons. Every response I choose which originates by the mind poisons is a setback and learning opportunity. When I am personally attacked or confronted with disagreement, that is a lesson from which to consider my response abilities. Do I feel anger, envy, pride, etc.? If so, why so? Will I now express that? If so, not good….for me. Those who declare themselves enemy provide a fulcrum of potential understanding and expression if we will utilize it as such.
Love is indeed key here. But love without wisdom is less productive in its ability to counteract or overwhelm the evil which spawns enemies. To disagree is but the reality of personal and individual perspective….there will be disagreement. How to disagree without being or becoming disagreeable depends on tact, wisdom, and a love centered perspective that recognizes all people as children of Father within his family of creation.
Society must also protect itself from self proclaimed enemies, some of whom have deadly intent. A wise leader/nation would seek to understand why there are such enemies and what caused such enmity and determine how best to reduce such hatred while also protecting its citizens from those threats that come by its enemies. Complicated. Especially when both “sides” are entrenched in opposition and respond from fear and anger….and neither offers compassion, patience, understanding, dialogue, and compromise.
The Donald represents – willingly, purposefully, and loudly – the agenda of fear for the fearful….and there are many of them. I pray that divine love will invade the each and pervade the all to reduce the fears that deliver the evils of enemies, one for another, upon the rest of us.
Give peace a chance.
"Live loyally today—grow—and tomorrow will attend to itself. The quickest way for a tadpole to become a frog is to live loyally each moment as a tadpole."
Perhaps we owe Mara our opinions focused on the “how” of her question.
Somehow the “how” is centrally linked to self mastery and advancing Spirit domination. Continually affirming to the Father we want to do His will accumulates in our soul as proof positive we are sincere in wanting His will. I don’t see any other winning ways to discover the “hows” of life. Studying, seeking, observing and choosing the better ways are basis forms for building self mastery. The how is hidden in there somewhere; we find it by sincerity in choosing the higher ways.
What is the ‘How” for Mara’s question?
Somehow the “how” is centrally linked to self mastery and advancing Spirit domination.
At times I think I overthink things, if that were possible. Maybe I over-analyze. I try to see a subject from every angle and make up my own mind about it. This is an ongoing process. And several things are going on for me in the process. One is the process of self-understanding. Another is the process of getting information. Another is the process of getting insight. One thing I don’t think about is advancing spirit domination. Why think about it? I guess I just take God for granted. He’s not going to abandon me cause I’m not going to abandon him! We’re sticking together forever.
In the context of how can I love my enemies and in light of the fact that no one has informed me he or she is my enemy, I cannot honestly have an answer of “how”. Usually when people are irked of ruffled about something I said or did, in time and over time such attitudes are forgotten and things get patched up. I think it is very, very hard to hold a grudge. And grudges do not lead one in the positive direction of self-understanding and maturing self-mastery.
I missed study group last week at which a topical called “How can I love my enemies?” was initiated, and it’s going to be continued in our group next week. So I’ve been thinking this might be an interesting topic for this forum. All comments welcome.
One might first ask, “How do I identify my enemies?”, where we know that according to the UB, Jesus had enemies and it would also seem that He knew who they were? However, by acknowledging that someone is your “enemy” would one not act differently in their presences or think that they may have something against you, what ever that may be? Then, if that is the case, how can one love their enemy, unless one knows what made or makes them, one’s enemy?
Therefore, the better question might be, what makes or made someone your enemy? Would there not be a reason behind someone’s feeling towards another person? Then one must also ask whether I am my enemies, enemy also?
If someone indicates that they are your enemy and you do not know why, would it not be the first step to question or ask them why? Then having found out “why”, will this change your feeling towards that person or would it give you an opportunity to change the enemy status to friend status, assuming they are willing? If they are not willing, and you have accepted, whatever reason was given for their enemy status, would you not wish to change that status, which might take on many different forms?
So, it might seem that the first thing in being able to “love your enemy” is to get to know them better, if possible, which means they need to know you better as well? Remember that loving one’s enemy, is opening oneself up to that person, or making yourself vulnerable to them through communication.
Jesus Admonishes us to be patient, willing to suffer injustice rather than to go to law among yourselves. Maintain your composure, if your neighbor smites you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
“I say to you: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who despitefully use you. And whatsoever you believe that I would do to men, do you also to them.” [Paper 140:3.15, page 1571:2]
“Be gentle; love even your enemies; be tolerant.”
Inner peace of the believer is sufficient to prevail over the enmity of the world.
…“be not discouraged by the enmity of the world. Be not downcast even when fainthearted believers turn against you and join hands with the enemies of the kingdom. If the world shall hate you, you should recall that it hated me even before it hated you. If you were of this world, then would the world love its own, but because you are not, the world refuses to love you. You are in this world, but your lives are not to be worldlike. I have chosen you out of the world to represent the spirit of another world even to this world from which you have been chosen. But always remember the words I have spoken to you: The servant is not greater than his master. If they dare to persecute me, they will also persecute you. If my words offend the unbelievers, so also will your words offend the ungodly. And all of this will they do to you because they believe not in me nor in Him who sent me; so will you suffer many things for the sake of my gospel. But when you endure these tribulations, you should recall that I also suffered before you for the sake of this gospel of the heavenly kingdom.” [Paper 180:3.1, page 1946:6]
There are people who love not the truth and will hate without cause, the children of faith.
“Many of those who will assail you are ignorant of the light of heaven, but this is not true of some who now persecute us. If we had not taught them the truth, they might do many strange things without falling under condemnation, but now, since they have known the light and presumed to reject it, they have no excuse for their attitude. He who hates me hates my Father. It cannot be otherwise; the light which would save you if accepted can only condemn you if it is knowingly rejected. And what have I done to these men that they should hate me with such a terrible hatred? Nothing, save to offer them fellowship on earth and salvation in heaven. But have you not read in the Scripture the saying: ‘And they hated me without a cause’?” [Paper 180:3.2, page 1947:1]
The love of Jesus revels the greatest love ever bestowed on the people of this world.
…Greater love no man can have than this: that he would be willing to lay down his life for his friends — and Jesus had such a love that he was willing to lay down his life for his enemies, a love greater than any which had hitherto been known on earth. [Paper 188:5.7, page 2018:6]
Being a living example of sonship is love manifest
Hearts dominated by love are such that your spirit guide will have little trouble in delivering you from the tendency to give vent to those outbursts of animal anger which are inconsistent with the status of divine sonship
Be ever slow of wrath, for therein is the secret of great understanding
“Anger is a material manifestation which represents, in a general way, the measure of the failure of the spiritual nature to gain control of the combined intellectual and physical natures. Anger indicates your lack of tolerant brotherly love plus your lack of self-respect and self-control. Anger depletes the health, debases the mind, and handicaps the spirit teacher of man’s soul. Have you not read in the Scriptures that ‘wrath kills the foolish man,’ and that man ‘tears himself in his anger’? That ‘he who is slow of wrath is of great understanding,’ while ‘he who is hasty of temper exalts folly’? You all know that ‘a soft answer turns away wrath,’ and how ‘grievous words stir up anger.’ ‘Discretion defers anger,’ while ‘he who has no control over his own self is like a defenseless city without walls.’ ‘Wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous.’ ‘Angry men stir up strife, while the furious multiply their transgressions.’ ‘Be not hasty in spirit, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.’” Before Jesus ceased speaking, he said further: “Let your hearts be so dominated by love that your spirit guide will have little trouble in delivering you from the tendency to give vent to those outbursts of animal anger which are inconsistent with the status of divine sonship.” [Paper 149:4.2, page 1673:2]
… by acknowledging that someone is your “enemy” would one not act differently in their presences or think that they may have something against you, what ever that may be? Then, if that is the case, how can one love their enemy, unless one knows what made or makes them, one’s enemy?
Many good questions Midi. If I have offended someone (and no doubt I have done so), and I meet that person again face-to-face, I can tell by their demeanor they do not want to communicate with me. And to tell you the truth, I don’t want to have anything more to do with them either. There are wicked, conniving, and narcissistic people round about and I am not interested in finding out what their motivation is. I’m sorry to say that, dear Jesus.
Many good questions Midi. If I have offended someone (and no doubt I have done so), and I meet that person again face-to-face, I can tell by their demeanor they do not want to communicate with me. And to tell you the truth, I don’t want to have anything more to do with them either. There are wicked, conniving, and narcissistic people round about and I am not interested in finding out what their motivation is. I’m sorry to say that, dear Jesus.
Mara, I understand your feelings regarding such a person but, I once had a similar experience, although not with a person who was such as you describe and, I knew why that person was offended by me, and we did not talk for two years. However, that person was almost deaf and what I said which offended him, which was received as me being disrespectful to him, was a misunderstanding on his part but, at that time, it was in his nature to anger quickly and nothing which I could have said at that time would have changed the following two years of silence. Nevertheless, there was no love lost between the two of us, only time. We never spoke of that period of time, after the hatchet was buried, so to speak, but since I could not change the fact that his hearing was getting worse instead of better, I did make an effort to be more careful in what I said, and made sure that he could read my lips. I guess that what I could have done at that time was to write a letter, explaining the circumstances as I understood them and apologized for his misunderstanding me but, hindsight is 20/20 now. Had I had written the letter, I know that that two years would have only been a few weeks but, I was just as stubborn as he was, so who was wrong in this case? Being able to come face to face, was not possible because the distance between us was about 1500 miles, and verbal communication was, well, the same problem as was the first problem without an intermediary.
So, we may think that a person is a certain way or type but, how do we know that we are not the same way or type, butting heads about something which is so minor that it wasn’t worth it in the first place.
Then again, how do you know that, that other person is not perceiving you with the same demeanor as you perceive of them not wanting to communicate with them? If you know this person that well, can you say that you know yourself just as well?
I am not interested in finding out what their motivation is.
Of course I would run to help them in any crisis as would every good Samaritan.
I am not interested in finding out what their motivation is.
Of course I would run to help them in any crisis as would every good Samaritan.
Okay, then if I may ask, why ask or present the topic and question, “How can I Love my enemies?”
It would appear that once you have made up your mind as to a persons “demeanor”, as I asked in my last post, how do you know that they don’t think the same about you, and that reasoning is misguided as your reasoning may be misguided?
It is one thing to avoid someone because you may have animosities against them for whatever reason, and by avoiding them will keep your fear, dislike or hatred in control because you know yourself but, then under those circumstances, would it not be, that you are that persons enemy, where they may actually not think you as their enemy?
Therefore your response above would indicate that you have closed your mind to loving certain or specific people(s), and that you are not interested in loving your enemy which would also indicate that you feel that the Golden Rule, should not apply?
